Kolkata Diaries

“I keep writing shorter stuff to allay the hunger of my writer soul… but snacks can never stand in for full meals!” I wrote to a friend in a long conversation on the writing life in 2019. Only I didn’t seem to have one: my maiden collection of shorts had been accepted for publication for more than a year then, but I still didn’t know when it would come out; and a work-in-progress epistolary novel on which I had worked for two years had been shelved for the next two. Trying to find a fresh toehold in Kolkata professionally after a decade abroad and settling my daughter down in a new environment had taken more time than I had imagined; whatever was left of my energy was invested wholeheartedly in a dream initiative – the Kolkata Partition Museum Project. My writing suffered. Since I was unable to work on the novel, I settled for a blog: snack for a meal!

The snack proved healthy and self-sustaining. It evolved from being small compensation for what I wanted and couldn’t do to a space – however humble – where I could express/face/negotiate with the realities of my life after returning to Kolkata. I now feel at home in it.

KD73 : Motherhood Penalty

08 March 2024

Summer, 2018. A new University had sprung up in a new part of town. Working hours were 8 am to 4 pm. While the working day rarely ended at 4 pm, classes started at 8 am sharp. I'd been looking desperately for a regular, full-time position within the city in my new innings of teaching in Kolkata, after relocating back home after a decade abroad; hence getting the job was supposed to be lucky. But when I received the Appointment Letter and was called to finalize the terms of my employment, I was crestfallen.

KD72 : Father's Day

2 July 2023

Nobody knows his actual birthday. His widowed mother had told his wife he was born sometime in March 1936. But the official date in his certificates was 31st December. He thus retired on that day, on his 60th year, after 36 years of teaching Physics in an undergraduate college.

KD71 : Time's Winged Chariot Hurrying Near

“For at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near
And yonder before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.”

This reminder of mortality is the clinching argument of the lover as he tries to persuade his coy mistress to shed her inhibitions and make the most of their youth and passion in this famous 17th c. 'carpe diem' poem by the English metaphysical poet Andrew Marvell. It played no small part in the decisions of my youth!

KD70 : Stitched With Love

This cloth mat is more than 50 years old. It has been a part of our home forever. Ma would use it sparsely; I don't. After I accidentally found it among a pile of old clothes five years back, I used it first to cover the top of the fridge and now, a side-table. A small tear has appeared (near the frilled border on one side) after repeated washes in the machine. That needs fixing soon; and though I am not the sort of person who promptly sits down with needle-and-thread to mend clothes, I will probably at least get it done by someone else this time. It's too precious!

KD69 : Pujo Haircut (Part-2)

14 Oct 2022

I had hesitated to shave off my hair for one more reason than the ones I enumerated before. For the longest time, a Hindu married woman with a shaved off head meant only one thing - a widow. It’s the worst fate that could befall a woman. While the loss of a husband is a loss in any culture at any time for any woman, for a Hindu woman, it had meant a particularly virulent form of destitution, where she was relegated to the margins of society -- stigmatized lifelong by a bewildering array of exclusionary social rituals and practices, practiced daily or during family celebrations or community festivals.

KD68 : Pujo Haircut (Part-1)

12 Oct 2022

I shaved off my hair completely in October 2020, just before Pujo that month. About a fortnight later, while posting a selfie of mine with the shaved head on social media, I captioned it 'Pujo hair-cut'. But it was actually not.

KD67 : Shubho Bijoya

5 Oct 2022

Dashami 2012. Voorschoten, the Netherlands.
It was the only time that I 'performed' the "eiyo stree" (the married woman) to perfection -- wearing every item that stamped my status: from sindur, sakha-pala & mangalsutra (this, a nod to the Bihari bahu I was) to donning the saree sadharan-style.

KD66 : Creature of the Sun

10 Sept 2022

As someone who has battled depression for long, I stand in solidarity with all those who suffer from any kind of mental illness -- inherited or otherwise.
It is important to think of it medically & treat it like one would any other illness/disease. With the same kind of objectivity. It is important not to dismiss it, but also to normalize it -- this may seem contrary, but it's not.

KD65 : ধিক! ধিক! ধিক! (I CONDEMN!)

5 Sept 2022

Of applications and interviews, while starting over:
Spring 2017. I flew down from Amsterdam to give an interview. It cost a fortune. But the stakes were high. We were relocating back home to Kolkata after a decade abroad and I was having to start over from scratch. A University job, even if at the lowest rung, would help me find a foothold. Or so I thought.

KD64: A moment of Eternity

30 Aug 2022

I was inordinately late for the pick up that Friday afternoon. I had informed Srishti's class teacher in the class WhatsApp group about my delay, but the text didn't go through, because of bad connectivity. And I got caught up in traffic on the road, the kind that only monsoons in Kolkata can throw up. When I reached, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere -- no cars, no police, no children coming out of the gates with their parents or escorts, not even the trickle of late pick-ups. It felt eerie. For a moment, as I stepped out of the car, it felt like I have come to the wrong place.

KD63 : Farewell from Home

19 June 2022

I thought I was having a heart attack. Had a terrible, terrible pain in my chest. Just couldn't get myself up from bed. Couldn’t breathe for a while. Then had a panic attack when the pain refused to go… if I couldn’t get out of bed, how would I take Baba? An ambulance was due in 2 hours. And Baba’s paid caregiver (the 5th in 8 months) was about to leave in 3 days, after having first threatened to leave without notice. Everything had had to be arranged at gunpoint. There was no room for error. Not even by a hair’s breath.

KD62 : To stand firm on slippery Ground

8 May 2022

In the last 10 months, I had to shift my father to a dementia care facility, left my job, and got divorced after several years of separation. The pandemic played a part in these decisions and changed my life irrevocably. Of the three, the first has been the most painful decision of my life - one that I’m yet to come to terms with emotionally. When Baba left home, it was not just a parent but also a child that I had to let go.

KD61 : April is a beige Month

26 April 2022

April has turned out to be a beige month for me. In solid-shades I prefer and brands I love. One of my first buys in Amsterdam after relocating there were a pair of beige MANGO tops -- one sleeveless and the other short-sleeved, with beautiful neck-lines, ideal to wear over skirts and to throw summer jackets on. I love their simplicity and elegance; and have kept wearing them, off and on, these 15 years. There are some other MANGO favorites that I can no longer get into, but these, thankfully, can still accommodate me!

KD60 : Summer Chill

11 April 2022

Frooti
Kissan squash
Nimbu pani
Thumbs Up & Limca
Cold coffee
Iced tea
Mint-lemon flavored water
That's the order of my favourite summer chills. I should say 'drinks', I know, but the point of having them is not just to quench thirst, but to taste the coolness of cold water and the chill of ice...

KD59 : Back To School

7 April 2022

“Your school is finally re-opening, beta”!
There was a squeal of delight in response.
“And the good thing is that it will be just 2 days a week, initially - Monday & Thur...”
I couldn't complete.
“But whhhyyyyy”?
“Because it will be difficult for you to do full-fledged school after 2 whole years of online classes, you know”.
“Whhhyyyyy”?

KD58 : Looking back on lata Solos

6 Feb 2022

We didn't have any records of Lata Mangeskar at home in the 80s, but cassettes there were aplenty. I heard them incessantly on our PERK cassette-player. I would 'Rewind' the songs so many times to learn the lyrics, sometimes only for split seconds to get this or that detail right, that it was a miracle the button didn't go bust.

KD57 : 2 Years of GJ

20 Jan 2022

It's been 2 years now that GARIAHAT JUNCTION got published!
This is an appreciation post. Also, one of stock taking. I would like to thank the same wonderful set of people whom I did 2 years ago (who were part of the publication process): Zafar Anjum & Kitaab International for publishing it; Arindam Dasgupta for the beautiful cover art & design; Kunal Basu, Saikat Majumdar & Sumana Roy for the generous blurbs.

KD56 : A Love Letter to the Letter

12 Sept 2021

I can't recall the last time I'd received a postcard. Or an inland letter. Or anything hand-written, for that matter. Very soon, I think, we will forget that we ever put pen on paper, or sent loving notes to dear ones, that travelled via round red boxes on city streets.

KD55 : For the Sheer Love of Art

25 Aug 2021

We had met as mothers, recently, at a Birthday party hosted by a mutual friend. Predictably, our conversation primarily centered round the children - of very different sizes - milling round us & what a challenge online schooling has been for all concerned. We had so much to rant that we almost forgot to talk about ourselves... until dinner was served. A wonderful, home-cooked chicken & fried rice with a salad.

KD54 : 6 August

18 Aug 2021

After the Inauguration of the Art Exhibition at KCC yesterday, I was very emotional & felt compelled to briefly document my KPMP journey - through 5 key August events - from 2016 to 2021. It happens to be the most traumatic half decade of my life... in which this project has assumed ever increasing importance.

KD53 : A Tiny Protrusion

16 July 2021

Ignore the chipped nails, please! Notice, instead, the middle finger... do you see something? I am not sure whether it has come out in the photo, but it is very much there, I can assure you... a slight protrusion, just below the rim of the nail, on the left side of the finger. It used to be a solid tiny ball of swollen flesh once, with distended skin, abrasive to the touch. A gift from Exams taken 25/30 years ago.

KD52 : Missing Srishti

18 May 2021

I miss Srishti!

It’s exactly 3 weeks that she has been away from me, staying with her dad & his parents. And it will be almost another 2 before she can return. A whole month (or more)!

KD51 : Saraswati Puja

16 Feb 2021

Saraswati Puja was even more special to us than Durga Puja in our childhood. It was an annual event that came with a string of (mostly) beloved rituals: getting up early (this was the hard part), having a bath first thing in the morning and wearing a yellow saree; fasting until giving the anjali; keeping the textbook of the most difficult subject in front of the protima, hoping the goddess of learning will help us secure higher marks in it; and enjoying the bhog and the communal lunch in our housing complex. There were other rituals, too, woven around the Puja, but far more exciting than the prayers: staying awake till late the previous night to decorate the stage, frantic rehearsals after lunch for the play (or the dance number or song) to be staged in the evening cultural program.

KD50 : Subhas Mela

23 Jan 2021

In our childhood (my sister’s and mine) Netaji’s name was associated more with fun than the freedom movement. While we knew everything that every Bengali child is supposed to know, by default, about the great leader - from his childhood in Cuttack to his disappearance during the Second World War - ‘Subhas’ meant principally ‘Subhas Mela’ for us. One of the high points of the winter season – the others being Saraswati Puja and the Book Fair.

KD49 : Nita & Shankar

10 Jan 2021

Is it possible to die again after one’s death? I believe it is. For, doesn’t one die a little more with each loved one joining the ranks of the dead? With each death, doesn’t one lose one more trace among the living … till none is left at all?

KD48 : Golden Jubilee

3 Dec 2020

This adorable pair are my parents, soon after their wedding.

Today, 3 December 2020, marks the 50th anniversary of their wedding – their golden jubilee! I am supposed to feel sad that Ma is not around to celebrate it (she left us 4 years back)… but I’m not. In fact, I’m relieved she isn’t here. Like every 3rd December since 2016, I feel happy that life has spared her yet another hollow anniversary.

KD47 : On Beauty

1 Dec 2020

This is a post in response to one by Nandini Bhattacharya – which in turn was a response to a photograph of mine that I posted this morning, which elicited a lot of compliments. I couldn’t share Nandini-di’s post, so I’m copy-pastying what she wrote here:

KD46 : Apu-Amal-Amit

16 Nov 2020

The first time I wanted to marry was when I was nine. I attended a maternal uncle’s wedding (one among many in my childhood) and fell in love with my beautiful aunt, my ‘maima’, as she sat decked as a bride – a veritable goddess on earth. I wanted to be that bride-goddess, covered in jewelry, clad in Benarasi, with a crown on my head.

KD45 : Snacks for Meals

29 Oct 2020

“I keep writing shorter stuff to allay the hunger of my writer soul… but snacks can never stand in for full meals!”
I wrote this to Saikat Majumdar in one of our earliest, and longest, conversations to date. The original context of it was Saikat’s highly sensuous novel The Scent of God and my initial response to it in an email to him… from where we drifted to the writing life in general.

KD44 : Privileged-Enabled Domestics

17 Oct 2020

A full seven months into the pandemic, I have realised a new reality in India. While migrant workers have been the hardest hit, some of their cohorts in the city have done well. This realisation came in the wake of the powerful image that went viral yesterday – of Ma Durga as a migrant worker with children in tow, by the artist Pallab Bhowmick.

KD43 : Soumitra, as Father to Daughters

-- Sept 2020

Soumitra, as Father to Daughters

KD42 : 6 Months of Online Teaching

28 Sept 2020

In response to a post by writer Sudeep Chakravarti, asking for teachers among his Facebook friends to share their online teaching experience (and tips) with him, I jotted down some points in a hasty hour last Friday night. Thought of sharing those - observations based on my 6 months in the digital classroom - and expanding on it a little more, in this blogpost.

KD41 : 400 Words a Day

11 Sept 2020

“A 400 word day is a beautiful day” – thus spake Tanuj Solanki! This was sometime last year; and he wrote it in response to a post by Michelle D’costa, on writerly anxieties. After all these months, and hundreds of posts later (read/browsed through/scrolled down), I still remember this one. Partly because I have read very few honest posts on Facebook about the vulnerabilities of the writing life – frequent rejections, endless waiting, a gnawing sense of inadequacy, the indifference of the world, iniquitous recognition (if at all), among others. Michelle was laying herself bare in this post in a way few do - in this instance, about her inability to write as much as she targeted.

KD40 : An Intense Semester in 2018

- Sept 2020

Two years back, I headed a fledgling English Department for a Semester... after which I left the job. In those few months, I met the freshers (the only ones then at the new University) every day - for more hours than is usually the case in any established department. They were a small group and I felt more like a mother than a teacher to them, something that has never happened quite that way before or since -- probably because of the intimacy of the small group thrown together for the most part of the day; or probably because of the overwhelming responsibility I felt in trying to shape a new department (a thing I shared with the other HOD's working then). I don’t know.

KD39 : Going to School

Five whole months at home! When the first lockdown was announced for three weeks on March 22nd, it had seemed very long. And now, we have stayed indoors for more than twenty. The only time we went out was when Srishti was suddenly down with fever in early July and had to be taken to the doctor. Thankfully, it was nothing serious. She recovered in a few days... and touchwood, has been fine since then.

KD38 : KPMP - The Story So Far

I have been writing my blog 'Kolkata Diaries' for almost 2 years now. I could have also titled it 'Kolkata 2.0' - since I deal with my second innings here, after a gap of 10 years spent in the Netherlands. My renewed relationship with the city, as it bears upon my personal life and relationships, is what I've been chiefly preoccupied with in this blog. There have been a few posts on my teaching life, but mostly, I've studiously kept my "work" away from it. Till now. I'm changing that today by writing a photo-essay on a passion project that is organically related to this city - the Kolkata Partition Museum Project.

KD37 : Till Death Do Us Part

"Sometimes, I worry... if she dies first, what will happen to me?" This fear is voiced not by a spouse or partner, but by a sister -- in Tanuja Chandra's latest film, 'Aunty Sudha Aunty Radha', a documentary on her two elderly paternal aunts who live together in a village close to Delhi. The film is part of this year's online NYIFF & is available on MovieSaints for a few days. I had difficulty logging in, which was a great disappointment this weekend. But even the 3-min trailer left a mark on me ... & compelled me to write this post.

KD36 : Gorom Bhaat

I must confess that, when it comes to food, there’s nothing more visually appealing to me than a plate of steaming white rice – preferably on a white plate. Also, to please me, it must be what in Bangla we say ‘jhorjhore bhaat’ – which means, the rice should be steamy but not sticky, with every grain separate from the other, moist and yet dry.

KD35 : Hajar-Buti

Yesterday was not 'Mother's Day' or 'Women's Day', nor was it my Birthday or Ma's Birthday, or even her death anniversary - all the days on the calendar that I'm supposed to especially remember her & miss her. And yet, Ma came visiting, in the most powerful way possible, as I chose to wear her saree for a workshop.

KD34 : Pupa

Imagine this scenario: A son rushes to his home in Kolkata from the US to meet his dying mother, but misses her. After the period of mourning, he is about to head back when his father has a cerebral attack and goes into coma. He is hospitalized at first, but then brought home, as it is uncertain exactly how long it would take him (days / weeks?) to regain consciousness, if at all. What does the son do? You need to watch Indrasis Acharya’s award-winning film ‘Pupa’ to find out!

KD33 : (SINGLE) MOTHER'S INC. - 1 - Runa

The electricity of the building was gone immediately after the storm hit Kolkata on 20th May. The balcony that serves as the entrance to their third floor apartment in Salt Lake (bang opposite City Centre I) got flooded in no time, overflowing into the drawing room and her father’s bedroom adjacent to it. It couldn’t flow down to her bedroom and the kitchen at the back …

KD32 : Mome

27/29 May 2020

She was about to leave after her interview, had already reached the door, when the Vice-Principal came in and announced that the Junior School Drawing teacher had left. Hearing that, the Principal called her back. “Let me see your CV once again”, she said. Flipping over the first few pages, the Principal’s eyes rested on the ‘Extra-curricular activities’ in the CV, among which was listed drawing and painting.

KD31 : Kajol

6 May 2020

“Kemon achho go, didi" (How are you), she asks me, with a smile, broom and bucket in hand, as I hand over the previous day’s garbage bag to her. I usually don’t do this. My father does. Till 4 years back, my mother did – every day at 8 am, for all the 38 years that she lived, in this flat in a small housing complex in North Kolkata.

KD30 : SHYAMBAZAR-ER MASHIMUNI (Aunt from Shyambazar)

6 May 2020

“Tell me a story”, Srishti says in her sweetest voice, late one night. She says so every night. I mostly oblige. She is usually all ears and full of questions. Also, very often, after I’m done, she ends up telling a story or two, herself: a mish-mash of cartoons she watches and her own vivid imagination. She expects to be complimented generously. I do. It’s a sacred ritual. But it is particularly late this night and I’m very tired. All I want to do is entwine her legs in mine, hold her close and go to sleep. But she simply doesn’t allow that. “MAMMA, TELL ME A STORY”, she hollers into my ears.

KD29 : Exhausted

3 April 2020

There is only one word to sum up my experience of the last two weeks at home: exhausting! The official ‘lockdown’ in India started a week after our educational institutions closed in West Bengal, including my college and my daughter’s school. In the first week, we were thinking only in terms of a fortnight’s disruption. So, that week of mine was mostly spent strategizing online teaching with my colleagues and settling down my daughter with a home-school routine. These were re-adjustments for sure, but pretty manageable (even with the extra spring cleaning of the house that I undertook, as an exaggerated safety measure).

KD28 : When Home is Not Home

3 April 2020

In economic terms, COVID-19 has hit the daily wage labourer the most. Concerned citizens have many legit questions: What will happen to their wage during the shutdown? Those who work as domestic staff may still get paid leave, but what about those on the street? How will they survive?

KD27 : ICU Stepdown

17 March 2020

“Time is in slow motion here. Every painful minute dragged out in 60 slow seconds. Every 30 minutes an eon, every hour an eternity. They are all laid out in rows – old, shrunk bodies, their life drawn out of them, almost sucked dry…

KD26 : My First Two Readers

19 Jan 2020

Sunday morning in Kolkata. Here's two of my first readers, reading GARIAHAT JUNCTION while basking in the winter sun. Reader 1: An 84-year old ex-professor of Physics, his monkey cap marking him out as a Bengali as nothing else can (in winter)! He had read an incomplete draft years ago & is relishing re-visiting the collection (with a magnifying glass), one story at a time. (In my mind's eye, I imagine his absent wife sitting beside him, fighting with him to read the book first....)

KD25 : CIS-EYP 2019

The Calcutta International School EYP (The End of Year Production) 2019 - THE MAGICAL TAPESTRY - was quite an extravaganza. Held at the beautiful Science City Auditorium on the 6th, it was a superb 3-hour program that made us parents truly proud. Hats off to the teachers! Everything about the production was so professional - from light & sound, to prop & costumes. The logistics of making ALL students of ALL the 12 classes (from Lower Nursery to Grade X) perform must have been mind-boggling.

KD24 : Brototi

Last Friday, I took Srishti to the annual function of 'Choopkatha' at the Rabindra Okakura Bhavan, Salt Lake. Helmed by veteran theatre artist, Dolly Basu, ‘Choopkatha’ is a theatre group that works with differently-abled children - using this art form as a means to develop their communication and confidence. The group also includes other children in their programs and the kids all get to perform together in the annual show.

KD23 : My Peers at SNU

23 Nov 2019

This photograph - with two of my former SNU colleagues - was taken in October 2018. It was a random photo, but it came out very well, with us looking a little too happy for our comfort. Methought the ladies smiled too much! That was definitely not their reality. They just happened to celebrate an accidental colour-coordination in their clothes.

KD22 : Knowing Pain at Seven

11 Nov 2019

Srishti was very sad today. Her 1st best friend broke up with her 2nd best friend in school. She tried to patch up the “brokening”. It didn’t work. At first, I tried to soften her sadness by jokingly asking whether it was like Peppa pig breaking up with Suzzy sheep (in a favourite episode from her favourite cartoon) & then coming together again at the slightest opportunity (only to fight again...)! But no – this was serious.

KD21 : No ‘Nari Shakti’ Please!

20 Sept 2019

Ma Durga is coming to town… how do you know? You have hoardings everywhere of Sourav Ganguly sharing banner space with the latest Tollywood beauties (and MPs) who (try to) impersonate a raging Durga about to slay the demon Mahisasur – who, for reasons of space, couldn’t be accommodated in the banner. I found that symbolic. For the real demon that the Durgas of the world have to continually contend with – patriarchy – is an invisible force, insidiously and relentlessly powerful, and still very far from being slain.

KD20 : Kajal Di

5 Sept 2019

When I joined Presidency College in November 1992, as a student of English Honours, I had joined with my own baggage of historical knowledge about the institution. I knew all about the original Hindu College; of Derozio and his ‘Young Bengal’; the ‘stairway to heaven’; of Amartya Sen and Satyajit Ray and Aparna Sen; of the Naxal rebels of the 1970s, the ‘gherao’ of the Principal and the standstill of the University. I knew all that! And of course the ‘tyesh’ girls who famously smoke and drink.

KD19 : Srishti’s Summer

23 June 2019

Srishti had a filmi summer. Five weeks of being mostly in Kolkata in this sweltering heat meant being indoors for at least half the day. She did get to “explore” her city a bit – Jorasanko Thakurbai, Birla Planetarium, Princep Ghat, Nehru Children’s Museum (all of which will now be dutifully used in English compositions & Social Studies projects at school) – but the joy of those explorations fell short of the sheer relief of being in the cool of AC rooms. Sad reality!

KD18 : Doctor & Patient

8 June 2019

He comes punctually at 9 am at the Kolkata Municipal Corporation (KMC) office in Kankurgachi – Ward no. 32, under Borough III. He has been a ‘Medical Officer’ since 2006, though at this particular ward only from 2015. The ward is located in the ground floor of a two-storied blue building, adjacent to a park. A spanking new and more spacious building is coming up right next to it, where the office is slated to shift in another year or two.

KD17 : Chumki Maima - A Childhood Wedding

7 June 2019

Today a childhood memory of mine suddenly re-surfaced – that of a wedding I had attended in early June 1983.
It was the wedding of one of my mother’s cousins – and I remember it mostly because of the bride! Her name was ‘Chumki’, and true to the name, she sparkled! Honest to God, I’d never seen any creature as beautiful as her! She was my first love! Married to Ma’s brightest younger cousin, she became an instant favourite with us – and Ma’s darling.

KD16 : An Aspirational Family

6 June 2019

Kabita comes to look after my child leaving her own. My daughter is 7, her son 9. Mine goes to Calcutta International School, the first international school in the city (est.1953); hers goes to Hare School, one of the oldest (est.1818) and most prestigious schools of not only Calcutta, but Bengal. Srishti going to CIS is no big surprise – given that she came to Kolkata after her first 5 years in Amsterdam, where she went to an international school.

KD15 : Udichi Geriatric Home

14 May 2019

Everyone who could, has left. Almost all the children. More than half of the 32 flats of UDICHI – the ‘Co-operative Housing Society’ in Kankurgachi, North Kolkata, where my sister and I grew up – are now peopled either by ageing couples or by widows/widowers. Every year, their numbers increase.

KD14 : Waiting For You

11 May 2019

Ma doesn’t come in my dreams. She absolutely refused in the initial months after her death in August 2016. Then she relented a little. Came in all about 5 times in my dreams – 5 times in a year and a half. After that, for a whole year, I didn’t count. Because the few flimsy appearances she made in all that time – always hovering on the fringes of the scene unfolding in my mind – didn’t count for much. In life, she was right at the centre of my existence; after death, she was unwilling to play even a bit-part. As I say, she has utterly and completely abandoned me.

KD13 : Dear Anna

27 Mar 2019

Many happy returns of the day, Anna!
You always remember to forget my birthday - I thought of reminding that to you on yours! I feel a dull ache within me every time I think of you, Anna. Because I don't know when we will meet again. Or if ever. Our paths have no reason to cross.

KD12 : A Different Kind of Holi

24 Mar 2019

I was very unwell throughout January this year and was diagnosed with multiple problems in February — acute colitis, gall bladder stones and fibroids in the uterus. I knew something was wrong in my body, but was shocked to find so many organs in disorder! Mid-Feb to mid-March went in a flurry of specialist consultations and medical investigations. For most of Feb, I was under medication and underwent colonoscopy early in March.

KD11 : The New Fotolab

8 Mar 2019

They are a perfect pair. They complement each other and are a study in contrast: she flaunts her white hair, he dyes it black; she means business at all hours, he loves to chat with his customers; she laughs spontaneously and loud, he is all languid smile and twinkling eyes; she wears bright kurtis, he is clad in sober shirts.

KD10 : My Matrilineal Inheritance

3 Mar 2019

This photograph, taken in October 2003, is one of my most precious possessions. On the right is Dida - feisty, resilient, impish; on the left, Ma - selfless, honest, hopelessly romantic. Dida was a wild village girl, very much like Mrinmoyee in Tagore's story, 'Samapti' - given to romping around, climbing trees and playing pranks on others; and just like Amulya in the story, it was precisely this untamed nature of hers that attracted Dadu to her.

KD9 : Kakima

3 Jan 2019

When we were growing up, there was no concept of ‘play-dates’. There was no necessity. A child had ample playmates in her daily life – neighbors, cousins, and often school mates who lived nearby. One habitually spent time with one’s peers without mothers having to synchronize complicated routines and spend hundreds to enable their children to ‘have fun’ in expensive malls and restaurants. Our ‘fun’ came free – in playgrounds, terraces, balconies and cozy bedrooms.

KD8 : The Sky Above Us

24 Nov 2018

For 9 years, we lived in a huge apartment in Amsterdam – 5 of them with Srishti. It was on the 7th floor of a tall residential building in the district of Buitenveldert in Amsterdam Zuid (South). The beauty of the apartment lay chiefly in the ‘view’ – with a vast stretch of the Amsterdam skyline visible whenever one looked out from whichever room. And that skyline was defined not just by buildings but also by trees and airplanes.

KD7 : ‘Meshomoshai’ & His New Neices

17 Nov 2018

My widowed father’s new household is filled with abandoned women (incidentally, all from Bangladesh and all residing in Dattapukur). They numbered three at one point. Now there are two. One cooks, the other cleans, and both double up as night-nurses at different places.They could never have been here if my mother was alive. She never allowed any cook for all the 44 years of her married life; and though she was certainly open to domestic help, when the local ones could not be relied on, she downright refused to hire “from the centre” because of their high hourly rates.

KD6 : All that Glitters is Gold (& Diamond)!

10 Nov 2018

What jewellery did you buy this Pujo/ Dhanteras/ Diwali? None? Not even with all the discounts? – “25% off on making charge”, “50% off…” on something else. Too bad! Has no husband/ boyfriend/ brother solicitously asked you to download the “ANJALI App” on your mobile so that you can shop gold online without him having to forego office travel or you having to leave a crying baby at home? You are damn unlucky then! For, just like everything else, gold is now available at the click of a button, its stores accessible no matter where they may be located geographically.

KD5 : Amader Baul

4 Nov 2018

He still comes twice a month – ektara in hand, dishevelled hair tied back in a jumbled knot, beard flowing down to his chest, clad in a ‘gerua’ punjabi and dhoti, with a red gamcha around his neck, jhola on his shoulder, and worn out sandals on his feet. And he still sings the same songs – the trademark baul (wandering minstrels of Bengal) songs of mystic love for an elusive ‘monermanush’, of life and death,the eternal yearnings of the heart.

KD4 : Indiana

28 Oct 2018

It’d exactly 15 months that I’ve relocated back to Kolkata after a decade in the Netherlands. “Tho’ much is taken, much abides.” I realize that these Tennysonian lines are true for both my home city and me. Here’s a little series about what abides – first.

KD3 : Srishti’s Year: Feb to Oct, 2018

12 Feb 2018

“Srishti Sandilya is our new V.I.P of the week. She was born in Netherlands and moved to India just last year. She is a gentle and soft spoken child. Srishti shared pictures of herself in Netherlands with her parents, grandparents, kindergarten school teacher and her vacation in Rome. She mentioned that she took some Ballet lessons in Netherlands and showed us a picture of her dancing with her instructor. ”

KD2 : Back from the Jaws of Death

18 March 2018

Today, after 5 weeks, Sunday was a day of rest. Since 10th Feb, we have been through a nightmare with my father’s health. We initially admitted him into a nursing home, but after 12 days there, shifted him to a private hospital. Except for the last week, he was almost entirely in the ICU – fighting a peculiar instance of “acute kidney injury” whose exact cause could not be fathomed by experts even after all relevant investigations.

KD1 : Back to Presidency

18 March 2018

I started teaching as Guest Faculty in the English Department of Presidency University a day after I relocated back to Kolkata last summer. In the initial weeks I was racked with nostalgia on the one hand, remembering my student life 25 years back; and on the other, trying to absorb all the changes that the institution has undergone in its new avatar as an autonomous university (from an erstwhile undergraduate college affiliated under Calcutta University)